Niagara University-Campus Ministry

To schedule a wedding at Alumni Chapel, contact the Chaplain, Fr. John Maher, C.M. at 286-8415 or jmaher@niagara.edu.

The Niagara University community joyfully congratulates you both and extends our prayerful support on your forthcoming marriage. We join you and your families in looking forward to the day when both of you will pledge and accept your real and exclusive love for each other in the presence of God and the Church -- the body of Christ, the people of God. Remember, it takes three persons to make a happy, lasting and sacramental marriage: the wife, the husband, and Jesus Christ.

We hope your planning and preparation will result in a wedding that is truly spiritual and memorable. In order to assist you with the necessary preparations for your marriage and to answer questions you may have regarding this important and religious event in your life, we have prepared the following guidelines. Some of these topics may not apply to your marriage. If you have additional questions, please do not hesitate to contact the priest with whom you are making your arrangements.

A man and woman make a very serious and sacred commitment when they decide to marry one another in the Roman Catholic Church. Through the Sacrament of Matrimony, Jesus calls you to draw closer to each other, to your God, and to your local faith community. Marriage is a permanent commitment to a way of life; it requires careful thought, prayer and reflection. In order to assist couples in making the best possible decision regarding their marriage and to help them prepare well for the Sacrament of Matrimony, these guidelines have been established.

MARRIAGE IN ALUMNI CHAPEL
Celebrating the Rite of Marriage in Alumni Chapel, a Roman Catholic House of Worship, is a privilege and not a right. This privilege is reserved for those persons that fall into one or more of the following categories:

    student
    alumnus/a
     trustee, faculty or staff (or immediate family of)
11:00am Registered Sunday Community Member

SETTING OF WEDDING DATE
Before a marriage is celebrated, it must be evident that nothing stands in the way of its valid and licit celebration (Canon 1066). Discussion of a tentative wedding date may take place during the initial contact with the Office of Campus Ministry, however, the date is not finalized until after the first meeting with the priest. A couple should be advised that if serious reasons surface, the priest may delay the wedding, but only for a time, until the matter is resolved (Canon 1077).

TIMES FOR WEDDINGS
Fridays:       4:00 pm (during summers)

Saturdays:   11:00 am (ceremony only)
                     1:00 pm
                     4:00 pm

No weddings are permitted on Sunday, the Lord’s Day, or on other solemn feast days throughout the Church year. In addition, there are certain times during the academic year when the University is closed that weddings are not permissible. Further, if you choose to celebrate your marriage during the Lenten season (Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday), it must reflect the simplicity and penitential nature of the season.

PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE PREPARATION
The overall purpose of marriage preparation within the community of the Church is to assist the engaged couple in evaluating their readiness to live married life, which between two baptized persons is a Sacrament. The primary purpose of the Church's efforts in marriage preparation is not to teach you how to be married, but rather, to help you better understand yourselves and each other, as well as your commitment to living your marital vocation in and for the community of the Church.

REMOTE/PROXIMATE PREPARATION
These guidelines have been geared to very "immediate" preparation for marriage. However, it needs to be stated very clearly that remote preparation begins in early childhood and includes all those family, as well as environmental, factors that influence the person in positive ways for marriage. Also, beginning at a suitable age, usually from around the time of puberty, proximate marriage preparation evolves, through appropriate catechesis, as more specific preparation for and rediscovery of the sacraments. It is the responsibility of parents, along with pastoral ministers, to provide integration here of the religious formation of young people with their preparation for life as a couple. (Canon 1063)

IMMEDIATE MARRIAGE PREPARATION
In order to make the most beneficial use of their preparation time, a couple wishing to be married in the Catholic Church should contact the secretary of Campus Ministry immediately after they make the decision to marry (formal engagement). However, this contact must be made at least six months prior to the anticipated time of the wedding.

Marriage preparation takes place over a 6 month - 1 year time period. This is a time for the couple and the Church's ministers to seriously engage in assessment and education for a lifetime commitment to family living within the Church, and not a "period of waiting" for the ceremony. While it would be a rare exception, the priest, for serious reasons, may reduce the preparation period, but not the preparation process itself.

In order to assist you in making the best possible decision regarding your marriage, and to help you prepare well for the Sacrament of Matrimony, a series of three meetings will take place during your preparation time.

First Meeting (1½ - 2 hours):
The initial meeting is a time to come to know you on a more personal basis, to allow you to share your faith values about marriage, and to help you understand the goal of marriage preparation and the assessment process as a tool enabling you to take this important step in your lives. At this meeting the campus minister or another priest will conduct a Pastoral Investigation before Marriage with you. This helps to assess your freedom to marry in the Catholic Church. You will also take a pre-marital inventory tool, FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study). This inventory or assessment is not a test in which someone fails or passes, but rather, helps surface significant areas of marital life:

lifestyle expectations	friends and interests	personality match	personal issues
communication skills	problem solving	religion and values	parenting issues
extended family issues	human sexuality	financial issues	readiness issues
marriage covenant	interfaith issues	second marriage issues

The purpose of this FOCUS tool is to help you better understand yourselves and where some further growth might be called for. If there are no serious reasons to delay the marriage, THE WEDDING DATE WILL BE CONFIRMED. Dates reserved previous to this time are considered tentative and must be confirmed with Campus Ministry.

Second Meeting (1 - 1½ hours):
The results of your pre-marital inventory will be discussed with you. In addition, the book Together for Life will be explained as an aid to planning your wedding ceremony. For this meeting we ask that ALL NECESSARY DOCUMENTS, PAPERWORK AND THE CHURCH OFFERING BE HANDED IN.

Third Meeting (1 hour):
This last meeting will focus on the plans that you have made for the wedding liturgy, and other practical and spiritual concerns you may have.

SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
We suggest you prepare spiritually by frequent reception of the Sacraments, by openly sharing with one another your hopes and aspirations about your commitment in marriage, by attending a Marriage Preparation Program (see Section on Marriage Preparation Program and separate brochure of dates provided) and prayerfully reading and discussing the Rite of the Sacrament of Marriage. We hope that a strong spirit of prayerfulness will guide you as you prepare to design the Marriage Rite with the priest or deacon celebrant.

SACRAMENT OF CONFIRMATION
Confirmation is not required before Matrimony. The Church, however, strongly encourages those who have not yet received Confirmation to complete their Christian Initiation if they are able without serious inconvenience (Canon 1065, 1). The priest will encourage enrollment in the R.C.I.A. to a Catholic party who has not yet received this Sacrament or others.

SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION
Catholic engaged persons are encouraged to celebrate the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Eucharist as part of their preparation process (Canon 1065, 2). This sacramental preparation will prepare the couple for a more meaningful experience of their wedding liturgy, and deepen their relationship with Jesus, the foundation of their married life. Confession should be attended to before the wedding day and not at the wedding rehearsal.

A MARRIAGE BETWEEN TWO ROMAN CATHOLICS
Roman Catholic Christians must obtain a recently-dated baptismal certificate within six(6) months of your wedding date. Original copies of the baptismal certificate, then, are not acceptable. This may be obtained from the church of your baptism upon request by advising that church of your name, your parents' names, the date of your birth, and the fact of your forthcoming marriage. This updated baptismal certificate testifies to a person's freedom to marry and is required by church (canon) law.

A MARRIAGE BETWEEN A CATHOLIC AND A NON-CATHOLIC CHRISTIAN
If one of the parties is a non-Catholic Christian, that person should bring his/her original sealed baptismal certificate. If the person is well known by the priest, no further paperwork is needed. If the person is unknown to the priest, that person should also obtain an affidavit signed by two witnesses (parents, guardians, or close friends) attesting that he/she has never contracted any marriage before; that the parties are not related to each other; and that there are no impediments to the proposed marriage. This affidavit form may be obtained from the interviewing priest.

In order that a marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic party be valid, a dispensation must be obtained from the bishop of the diocese. The consulting priest or deacon will obtain this for you and will handle the paperwork with you. The necessary conditions for this dispensation are:

A. After prayerful and deliberate discussion between the future spouses about the question of raising all children as Catholics, the Catholic party is asked to promise that he/she will make every effort to bring up all children as Catholics.

B. The non-Catholic party must understand the seriousness of this promise and must support this commitment of his/her spouse.

C. It is very important that couples of different religious traditions spend time discussing all aspects of their different religious backgrounds as part of their marriage preparation.

OTHER SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES
A. If one of the parties is under 19 years of age, the question of age must be submitted to Most Rev. Henry J. Mansell DD, Bishop of Buffalo.

B. If one of the parties is under 21 years of age, a sworn affidavit must be submitted by the parents or guardians giving their permission for the marriage.

C. If one of the parties has received any form of psychological or professional counseling approval may be necessary from Bishop Mansell's office.

In each of the above cases, special care and concern is given to couples requesting marriage, not to make things more difficult for the parties, but to help ensure the sacredness and permanence of Christian Marriage. For this reason a date for your wedding may not be set until the diocesan office has been consulted.

Recognizing the special nature of Interfaith marriages, Campus Ministry will provide you with resources that will help address questions one doesn't think to ask but wonders about. However, these resources can only supplement the discussion a couple must have, no matter how awkward.

PREVIOUS MARRIAGES
If your spouse is deceased, a death certificate must be presented to the consulting priest or deacon.

If you were previously married in the Church and are now divorced, you must obtain a formal Church Annulment and follow any requirements that may accompany the annulment. The consulting priest or deacon can give you information about beginning this annulment process.

If you were previously married but the marriage was not recognized by the Church, diocesan permission must be obtained before your marriage. This, too, can be handled through your consulting priest or deacon.

N.B.: in the case of a previous marriage of any kind, a date for the wedding may not be set until the proper annulment has been received.

LETTERS OF PERMISSION
Letters of freedom/permission from the bride's and groom's pastor are needed for the marriage to be celebrated at Alumni Chapel. Also, both the parties should request announcement of their marriage in their home parish's bulletin/newsletter. It is a simple procedure. Just contact one of the priests/ministers at your local parish where you attend each Sunday and tell them of your upcoming marriage and your desire to have that wedding take place at Niagara University's Alumni Chapel. You can either hand the letter directly to interviewing clergy or have the parish mail it to the Office of Campus Ministry.

MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM CERTIFICATE
Attendance at a formal marriage preparation program sponsored by the Diocese of Buffalo is an important requirement in your preparation to be married.

PERSPECTIVES ON MARRIAGE: an eight and one half hour program, adaptable on the parochial, regional or vicariate level, which can be utilized individually with a sponsor couple, in a group gathering at a Church facility for at least 3 evenings or a 1 day session on the weekend. Topics include communication, conflict resolution, families of origin, marital roadblocks, sacramental commitment and spirituality. Bi-monthly training is available.

JOURNEY INTO LOVE: a six and one half hour, one day program usually presented at St. Columban Center, Derby, using presentations and couple communication exercises focusing on the dynamics of effective communication, intimacy, marital roadblocks, natural family planning and sacramental commitment. Program also includes dinner and prayer service. (2:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.)

CATHOLIC ENGAGED ENCOUNTER: a weekend (Friday night to Sunday afternoon) program based on techniques of Marriage Encounter: presentation, reflection, dialogue. Conducted by priest and married couples. Covers areas of communication, adjustment to marriage, sacramentality/spirituality of marriage. Liturgy provided both days. Sacrament of Reconciliation available.

A REDEEMING STATE: A sponsor couple program designed for second marriages. Topics addressed include step-parenting, stepfamily structure, communication, intimacy, sacramental commitment and marital roadblocks. This program specifically fits the needs of couples in which at least one person is widowed or divorced. In the latter case, first marriages may have been annulled or declared invalid by the Church.

MARRIAGE PREPARATION IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES: should any priest/deacon need assistance with an engaged couple, speaking a foreign language.

PREMARITAL COUNSELING: Offered to all couples who are interested in examining their relationship. they may be experiencing difficulties or may wish to explore their similarities and differences with a professional who specializes in counseling for couples. Premartial counseling is also offered whenever a priest/deacon sees a need for further assessment or intervention. This may include persons with special needs; pregnancy; when one or both partners is under the age of 18, or involves drug or alchohol abuse. Topics can include: coping with children from pratner's previous marriage; learning to communicate; dealing with finances; dealing with in-laws. Brochures available.

OTHER: some parishes or regions conduct their own marriage preparation programs. Family Life Department is glad to provide ideas and resources for any parish/region seeking input on the improvement of programs. During the first meeting, the priest will offer you a list of dates and options. After completion of the program, it is necessary that you submit the certificate verifying attendance.

MARRIAGE LICENSE
You may call your Town/County Clerks office to obtain the marriage license. Both applicants must appear in person to obtain the license. A blood test is no longer required. The marriage may not be performed for twenty-four (24) hours from the issuance of the marriage license, and the license is good for sixty (60) days from the date of issue.

LITURGY PLANNING
You should begin to immediately discuss and plan the wedding liturgy. There are many options for you to consider in the planning of your wedding liturgy. These options are detailed for you in the book Together for Life, which you will receive. Please read through the various prayers, Scripture readings, and blessings, so that you may choose what is most appropriate for both of you.

There may be one or two Biblical readings which can to be read at your wedding (both for Nuptial Masses and for Ceremonies). You may wish to ask family members or friends to proclaim these readings. They should be people who will read the Word of God with dignity and respect; children are not permitted to do this. The people you ask should be given the proper reading well in advance of the ceremony, and they should be present and prepared to read at the rehearsal.

Additionally, you may want to ask some one to lead the assembly in the Prayer of the Faithful. Two or three people should be chosen also to present the gifts if the marriage is to be celebrated within the context of the Eucharist. If communion is to be distributed under both forms (body and blood of Christ), family member(s) who are extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist may help in this ministry of communions.

THE WEDDING/UNITY CANDLE
The lighting of a Wedding Candle or Unity Candle has become a custom that some couples wish to include in their ceremony, however the Eucharist, is always primary and should never be overshadowed. If a couple wishes to include the wedding candle in their ceremony, they will need to discuss this with their priest or deacon. If it is agreed to, they must provide the candle no later than the time of the rehearsal. Discuss with the priest/deacon who will be officiating at your wedding the procedure for lighting the candle(s). The wedding candle will be set up in the sanctuary in a non-central place. Typically, parents of the bride and groom are asked to light the two smaller candles at the beginning of the liturgy and the couple lights the larger central candle from the smaller ones after the exchange of vows. With the exception of a Marriage Candle we ask you refrain from the use of all other candles. Wedding candles may be purchased either at the Catholic Union Store of Buffalo (847-8700), through your florist, or any religious goods store.

ROSES
Some couples also choose to present roses to parents as a part of the liturgy. Again, while this is permitted, please remember this is a secondary symbol in the marriage ceremony. If you choose to include this, it is your responsibility to provide the roses. The roses will be available on a side table on the day of your wedding.

REHEARSAL TIME
This is normally set for the evening prior to the actual wedding day. Rehearsals should be scheduled with the priest performing your wedding as soon as possible, even at the initial interview. We ask that you invite all participants in the wedding ceremony to be present, including the readers. In addition, the Marriage License should be given to the celebrant at this time.

Please advise your wedding party to be on time, since there might be other rehearsals that evening or the priest/student might have other appointments to keep. It would be a great help if you decide before the rehearsal who the partners will be and what order you wish them to process up the aisle. If you have not already given the marriage license to your officiating priest, you must do so at the rehearsal (please be sure to bring the pre-addressed return envelope which is provided with the license).

CHAPEL OFFERING
Sacraments are matters of faith; they are neither sold nor bought. None of us can place any financial value on sacraments, for they are gifts from God freely given and freely received. It is also a reality, however, that Alumni Chapel has many temporal needs and has set a fee in accordance with Diocesan Guidelines. This fee will cover the maintenance costs of Alumni Chapel and other services associated with a wedding. If the fee presents a hardship for a couple, please discuss the matter with your consulting priest. More generous donations are always welcome (this may be an opportunity for alums and friends of Niagara to thank Campus Ministry for its generosity during their time at Niagara).

An offering of $250.00 for the use of the Chapel should be paid when reserving the Chapel. Checks must be made payable to "Niagara University Campus Ministry". If cash is used, a receipt will be issued upon request.

CELEBRANT
When couples celebrate the Marriage Rite in Alumni Chapel, it is because there is a significant connection with Niagara University. The usual place for a wedding is the parish church of the bride or groom, and the official witness is the priest of that parish. Couples must make their own arrangements with a priest to preside at their marriage liturgy. If a couple is choosing to have a ceremony, they may consider asking a deacon. Engaged persons should consider several options:

It is customary that the couple ask the priest or deacon themselves and then he would contact the Campus Ministry Office at least three months before the wedding.

PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY
Photography and videography are allowed because it is important in the lives of the many people to have a lasting remembrances of cherished moments. However, no one, whether professional or amateur, may interrupt, distract, or interfere with the purpose of the gathering. The site and attention of the assembled community must not be distracted from the focus of the celebration -- the presence and action of God, and the praise and thanksgiving of God's people. So, they are fine, IF TAKEN UNOBTRUSIVELY. The choir loft may be open for the photographer if he/she wishes to take pictures from there.

The Church obviously welcomes professionals in the field of photography and videography to employ their skills and gifts at liturgical celebrations. The Church respects professional photographers and videographers, and simply requests that these same professionals respect the Church's liturgical celebrations, customs and expectations.

MUSIC
Music is an essential part of your wedding and should be given proper time and consideration. Only music which is proper and fitting to the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage may be used. Popular, secular music, or the playing of "our song," would be more appropriate at the reception rather than as part of the church ceremony and is therefore not allowed.

The music you choose for your wedding will only be appropriate and meaningful to the extent that it signifies to the worshipping community that your love is a sign of God's loving presence. A song which speaks clearly of the Christian dimension of love is most appropriate to the Marriage Rite. If the wedding is celebrated in the context of the Eucharist, all parts of the Mass should be sung. Finally, we suggest a moderate number of songs so that the wedding is enhanced rather than overshadowed by the music chosen. You may wish to contact one of the following organists:

Elizabeth Thelen - 208-5923
Bob Volkman - 285-7832
Peter Smith - 774-3170 or 284-0533
Louise Olsen - 285-1121

OR any other musicians. It is the responsibility of the parties being married to pay the musicians and singers prior to the wedding. Please also inform musicians it is necessary for them to bring their own musical compositions.

FLOWERS
Please order them to be delivered to the chapel - the second floor of Alumni Hall (in the past they have been left on the first floor or in the stairwells). University personnel cannot be responsible for lost or stolen flowers! If there is another wedding the same day you may want to share expenses with the other couple. DO NOT ATTACH ANY FLOWERS OR CANDLES TO THE PEWS, and DO NOT put any flowers on top of the altar. Rubber bands and string work best for attaching bows to the pews. We have found that tape of any kind mars the wood and we would appreciate your refraining from its use.

Any boxes, garbage from flower decorations, etc. should be cleaned up by someone designated by bride or groom and MUST be removed immediately after the Ceremony.

CHAPEL MEASUREMENTS
If your florist is providing a runner for the middle aisle (which is 43 ½ feet long), please DO NOT USE TAPE to secure it. Again, tape leaves unsightly marks on the chapel floor. Also please make arrangements for having the runner picked up as soon as possible after the wedding.

     The chapel holds 335 people:
                                                                     Middle Aisles (8 people/24 pews)
                                                                     Side Aisles (9 people/12 pews)
                                                                     Choir Loft (35 people)

PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED
To enter Alumni Chapel, an individual must climb three flights of stairs. This may be inconvenient or prohibitive for some. An elevator is provided on the east side of Alumni Hall (at the ROTC entrance opposite Perboyre Hall) for those who may be challenged by the stairs.

PARKING
Due to fire regulations, all roads on campus must be accessible at all times. Niagara University has NO responsibility for the tickets you may accrue from parking violations on any of our roadways. Please remind your guests that parking is permitted in the main lot or in the Butler or Gallagher lots. The limousine can park in the spaces provided at the chapel plaza IF A DRIVER IS IN THE VEHICLE throughout the ceremony.

WEDDING BOOKLETS
A special booklet for an individual wedding is an excellent preparation aid which many couples choose to include. It is the responsibility of the couple to secure all necessary copyrights. The words or music to any song may never be reprinted without written permission of the publisher. If in doubt, please ask.

The booklet is meant to aid participation and not a script. The booklet should include an outline of the service, words and music (with appropriate copyrights) to those parts of the Mass or Ceremony which the assembly is expected to sing or say, directions and explanations of unfamiliar items, and an attractive appearance. The booklet should not include the text of Scripture readings, the prayers which are read by the presider, the vows, and whatever may be distracting or unnecessary. Booklet covers may be purchased from any religious supply store.

YOUR WEDDING DAY - PUNCTUALITY
It is imperative that your wedding begin ON TIME!!! It is inconsiderate to keep all those involved with your wedding waiting for an extended period of time. If you are late for your wedding, it may be necessary to shorten or exclude certain parts of your ceremony. This is particularly true if there is another function in Alumni Chapel scheduled after yours, or if the priest or student has another commitment. Should it become necessary to shorten the ceremony, those parts which are not primary to the wedding will be the first to be omitted, e.g., the candle ceremony, the rose ceremony, and special musical selections. The groom, best man, and ushers should be at Alumni Chapel 30 minutes prior to the Marriage. The bride should be out of the car 10 minutes before the beginning of the wedding. To avoid heartaches and disappointments: please be on time!!!

ALCOHOL
Please inform your limousine company that champagne or any liquor is not to be served before the wedding liturgy. Out of respect for the dignity of the sacrament, absolutely no one should have liquor on his or her breath nor in any way be under the influence of alcohol or other substances.

GUM AND NERVES
Getting married and being attentive to all the liturgical movement of the Marriage Rite can be a nerve-racking experience. The bride, groom, or members of the wedding party may be tempted to offset this by chewing gum. Besides being very distasteful and ugly, it is extremely disrespectful in the presence of the Lord's house to chew gum.

AFTER THE WEDDING - RICE?
While it is traditional to throw rice after a wedding, we ask you to consider the following. A wedding is a festive occasion but as Christians we should never completely overlook those who are less fortunate in the world. There are many people in the world today who do not even have enough food to sustain their lives. With this in mind the throwing of food simply as an expression of joy is inappropriate and should not be done.

In addition to not throwing rice, we ask that bird seed or any flying object (balloons that may choke birds), also not be thrown after your wedding. Thrown particles distract from the beauty of the church and often present a hazard to those walking into church after the wedding. Please do not use rice, bird seed or confetti.

SPECIAL QUESTIONS
Please feel free to discuss any concerns or questions you may have that have not been covered in these guidelines. The consulting priest will be happy to assist you.

INVITATIONS
When composing invitations, it may be helpful to enclose directions as well as the proper address: